When it comes to lesbian sex, there are a lot of things to consider other than penetration.
However, penetration can be a pleasurable and satisfying part of a lesbian’s sex life.
Dildos are a versatile and pleasurable tool in the penetration game.
When it comes to dildos, there are options out there to serve every whim or desire, and below, I’ll cover the basics and more.
Strap-ons for Lesbians
Wearing your dildo is a great way to have your hands free to roam your partner’s body freely. Not to mention, you will both be able to enjoy yourselves at the same time.
Strap-on dildos are attached to the wearer with a harness that will hold it in place to allow them to penetrate their partner hands-free.
There are two categories of strap-ons, broken down buy how you attach the dildo to the harness.
The most popular and prominent is the o-ring style, where you pull the dildo through the o-shaped opening. The other is called vac-u-lock with a specific fixed base and particular attachments that can be switched out.
This limits the type of dildo you can use with the harness, so for versatility, I would recommend o-ring harnesses.
Dildo Harnesses
The actual style of the harness itself varies too. The basic strap-on harness available is the double-leg strap harness.
Although it sounds like you’re strapping one dildo on each thigh, its name is from the fact that there’s a big strap around your waist and one around each leg.
This one is great for lesbians because the “o-ring” that holds the dildo in place is generally right at the pubic mound. This pressure to the clit brings the wearer pleasure with every thrust.
These are also great because the velcro straps are highly adjustable, and you don’t need to fret on precise measurements before you purchase.
If you and your partner are different sizes, you can also share provided you both fall in the range. The ranges vary a great deal, so chances are you will!
The best double-leg strap harness is the classic SpareParts Joque Harness. You can’t go wrong with this versatile and easy-to-use harness.
If you’re looking for something stylish and the double-leg strap style isn’t your cup of tea, there are underwear style harnesses out there that might be right for you.
SpareParts really has something for everyone.
Even better, they range from an ultra-feminine panty with lace edges and detachable garters to masculine boxer briefs.
This type of harness does make it hard to command longer dildos.
If you’re inserting anything more than 6-7 inches long, you’re going to find it too heavy for the panty / brief harness, and it’s going to pull down and droop.
I recommend avoiding thong-style harnesses since the o-ring (the part where you pull the shaft of the dildo through) is commonly too high to provide the wearer any pleasure while using.
I also find the thong-style uncomfortable when it starts to pull. Thinking about picking your wedgie when you’re about to come isn’t sexy.
Best Dildos for a Harness
When picking a dildo for a harness, the choices are endless.
The only thing you need to make sure you pay attention to is that it’s harness-friendly. Chose a dildo with a flared base, so it fits through the o-ring and stays put.
Everything else is just your preference!
Are you a fan of the realistic-looking dildos or not? Are you looking for a basic model, or do you want an enhanced dildo that includes bonus features?
Picking just your standard dildo can be overwhelming; there are sites with literally hundreds of options. The only way to narrow it down is to start filtering out your non-negotiables. After that, continue based on your preferences.
Dildo Size
To narrow down your choices, consider size and shape.
If you don’t know where to start, try a dildo you already own for comparison.
If you don’t have one to compare, start with the average. The most common width is 1.5 inches. 1.75 inches and 2 inches are also readily available.
When it comes to length, a dildo in between 6 to 7 inches is the most common length.
Look and Feel
What do you want your dildo to look like? There are two major camps in the dildo game, realistic or not. Realistic-looking dildos have veining and testicles.
As far as authenticity, it’s really quite impressive now.
This is the Vixskin Bandit Realistic Silicone dildo and we’ve been quite happy with it over the years.
If you’re not into the idea of a hyper-realistic looking dildo, shoot for a company that makes the same model but in a bright pink or purple. You can also choose smooth shafts that have a more subtle head or no head at all.
The Blush Avant Pride P3 Silicone dildo fits the bill well. However, there are hundreds of options out there. SheVibe is a reputable seller – they carry high quality products and ship discreetly.
If you’re after increased sensations, look out for harness-ready dildos with ridges that will gently rub against your lady’s g-spot.
I recommend the Maia Kendall Silicone Suction Dildo that has ridges up and down the shaft perfect for g spotting.
Fortunately, most of the harness-ready dildos out there are going to be body-safe, non-porous and phthalate-free already but check before you purchase.
Look for superior materials like silicone to make sure you’re getting a quality toy.
Supreme Silicone
When it comes to materials for your dildo, you’re going to want silicone.
Plastic, glass, metal, wood, or any of the materials available today aren’t going to feel as good as silicone will. Although glass has its place, I’d recommend sticking with silicone if you’re anything near a beginner.
Silicone is also easy to clean and take care of. The only thing to keep in mind is that your lube must be water-based for silicone toys.
Vibrating Dildos for Lesbians
For an unexpected surprise, go with the Strap-On Vibrating Sensor Touch. This dildo has two sensors that are activated when you squeeze your vaginal muscles.
The vibration increases as your muscles clench harder. Even better, don’t say a thing and let this be a surprise to your lady.
Of course, there’s always the classic on/off style vibrators too.
The Strap-On Purple Vibrating Dildo with 10 vibrations and USB rechargeable is a great option.
I should take a minute to tell you that Wet for Her is a another high-end reputable store that creates products specifically for lesbians and queer women.
Consider the type of sensation before you buy it. If you’re going to have a bullet vibrator that is simply inserted in the dildo, it’s going to feel a lot different than one with an internal motor.
The removable buzz from the bullet or thrum from an internal motor might also have different speeds. That’s a good thing since different speeds or intensities let you pick what you want.
Choosing the right harness will also open up another vibration option for you and your partner. For example, the very popular Spareparts Joque has two pockets made for inserting two bullets.
You can get the buzz you’re after on your clit without having to make it part of the dildo.
Double-ended Dildos
Gone are the days where double-ended dildos are just a really long dildo with two heads or a dildo made for vaginal and anal penetration at one time.
Made for someone to wear by inserting in the vagina and then have another end that they can use to do the penetrating too. Even though these are called strap-less strap-ons, that’s a bit aspirational.
Theoretically, you could use your own muscles to hold the dildo in place and pull it off (or rather pound it in), but it’s hard to do, and the dildo can slip out easily.
There’s hope, though! These strapless dildos are compatible with most o-ring style harnesses.
Slip the external end through the o-ring in the harness, then loosely put on the harness. Lube up the end that you’ll be inserting in yourself, slip it in, then tighten the harness straps, and you’ll be good to go!
Just like conventional dildos, the options for double-ended dildos are plentiful, and you can find the one that’s right for you. There seems to be two common styles in double-ended strapless dildos.
One type is the plain, smooth silicone type with a slot for bullet vibrator that typically has a more bulbous end for the wearer. The other models look like two individual dildos fused together and offer maximum pleasure to both women.
When it comes to these dildos, I highly recommend the Peacemaker Vixskin Silicone Double Dildo. In addition to having a nice full dildo, the insertable side has a pleasurable hook and flaring that feels amazing.
This silicone feels fantastic, retains heat, and is incredibly easy to clean.
Helping the wearer
Short of picking a double-ended dildo, the wearer isn’t going to get as much sensation as the person on the receiving end.
A great product to try is the Bumpher by Wetforher.
It’s a dildo base cover that is compatible with your more standard dildos. The wearer gets pressure right on the clit from a softer material than the head of the dildo.
Small Dildos
If you’re a fan of internal stimulation or g-spot specifically but aren’t into it for the actual sensation of being filled, smaller insertables are going to serve you well.
Pick options that are smaller than typical dildos.
The Nexus 5 inch strap-on dildo might be a good option if you’re looking for something one the small-medium size.
At the end of the day, communicate and experiment. Hope you two enjoy yourselves!